[Not So] Caféine-intoxiqué..

Sunday, June 28, 2009


No. NO. My mother is not, I repeat NOT going to have another baby. I swear to God I will rip my sister's throat off and ship it off to Shanghai is she breathes another word to my mum or so much as thinks of it.

I mean c'mon , she's 48. MY MUM IS 48, NEARING 50. She is a.too old to have a baby, b. It's too dangerous and c.ISN'T THE WOMAN SUPPOSED TO BE MENOPAUSING RIGHT NOW WTFBBQ?
So no, I will not allow my parents to have another baby. I
There are a few possible reasons to this, there isn't a specific one because my mind's currently in a fuzzy state because of the thought of having A LITTLE BROTHER/SISTER. But still, I refuse to let my parents have another baby because a.I need to maintain the youngest in the family reputation, b.16/17 years older than your kid brother? Hell no. And c. I refuse, and I mean headlong, indisputably, downright refuse to have some kind of kid brother or sister to compensate for my big brother.

My sister is fudgecaking crazy to even think of this. I mean first of all, if this was God's supposed plan, he wouldn't have taken him away in the first place and second of all, do you actually think that this little baby is gonna make up for our brother?
Fine,we're grieving and I get that. But I refuse, and I mean hella refuse to let this potential little boy into my life.
Call me heartless and cold, but I refuse to give in.. I have only one brother. Until the day I die of some crazy disease or get into a freak accident and die, I will only have one brother. Nothing will change that, not even a stupid, planned pregnancy. I love, miss, and will not replace my brother.

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 10:44 PM

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Thursday, June 25, 2009

Deliquent from Delifrance

Start hell singing: Ladytron - Ghosts (Radio Edit)

"*Explains crap about household and assets using fruits as an example of assets* Yeah la. Same price la. But then, the pears must be good quality. The China [?] ones are more expensive"

Lol. Am I the only one who thinks the way Mr Wong diverts his Economics topic to high quality pears very amusing?

"They think they're right when they do that. That girl is an idiot. So when I mark the papers, *does marking hand motion*, I'll also be like, 'Ohh, an idiot.'"

Our Add Maths teacher is smug like hell. I reckon it's an Add Maths teacher thing cos Mr Alex is exactly like that. He just barges in through the door and says "Hello students. I'm Mr Alex. The very handsome and cute Mr Alex"
Which reminds me, PHYSICS TUITION! I bet KC Leong's already in Chapter 3. We're going to perish in Physics hell without using Big Kristal. T_T

And just now, I got a call from Fiancee Dearest saying that I'm emceeing with her instead of Amelia for IU Day.. For a tiny minute there, I was happy. Now, I'm anything but. Psssh, I mean no intentional harm but I don't wanna write out an entire script nor go for what, vocal lessons? But still, at least it's Sonia alone, so I'll get to that goddamn script with her and get Helena to help us. Bet she won't mind anyway. She's too nice these days

So today, I've found out that people identify me as the person who screams "What the hell are we doing?!" during a lotus pose in a yoga class. Namely, Joev and Anna. Uh huh, thanks guys.

And this is for Shannon who might not read this, but I'll take my chances.

"So BORING. I'm sitting next to *horror face*"
Ohh. why don't you sit next to [Remind me to get a name for her]? You guys can talk about [Too obvious and meh, she reads my blog] all the time? Like in the canteen.
-.- Are you mocking me?"
Oh, yeah. Hell yeah.

"We're gonna study pears?"

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 11:30 PM

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Wednesday, June 24, 2009

First of all, shut up.
Honestly, I don't get what's your problem. You're so incomprehensible, to the core. So what if you have your stupid goddamn problems?? We do too, so get with it, you hypocrite. And god, don't you dare ever give me that skeptical look when I talk to them. They're my friends too, so hell off if you think that's a bloody problem. I don't say much about it, but it doesn't mean it annoys me. So really, shut up. Just.Shut.Up
Last year, was pointless. It was basically just a facade now wasn't it? It's this year that matters.

And you, why do you even bother saying anything?

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 8:52 PM

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Sunday, June 21, 2009


I. AM. TIRED. And not just those sudden-attack-of-Auntie Jaded, angst-filled annoying teenager who can't control her damn life-type of tired, but more of hands down, craptacularly exhausted. It' s kinda weird considering I drank firing hell amounts of coffee today but meh, kalau nak blog, takyah henti

[That would probably be the 3rd time I've used Malay in a blog post and I find it getting stranger and stranger by the mo' considering I was[?] that advocate-for-the-proper-usage-of-English type of person. Screw it all.]

So yes, I'm exhausted.
Which brings us to....

When you say you'd really take a bullet for someone, would you really do it? As in would you really be willing to get shot for another person?
See, to be honest, I think human are ultimately, the most self-centered creatures ever. So technically, I don't think anyone would be that selfless enough to take a bullet for someone. Call me pessimistic or apathetic or some other crap word you can spin at me, but think about it. Would your really be willing to gamble off your life for someone? Regardless of who it may be?
I don't think so. And that applies to everyone. You don't have a Messiah-complex. Nuh-uh. If someone hurls that question at you, you say yes, naturally. But dude, put yourself in that situation the next time you answer that question.
Imagine it, as serious as it gets.
Crazy yakuza from Shibuya kidnaps you and your buddy and forces you to choose who to let go cos' your friend is currently heavily sedated and her kidneys are on E-bay [Saw, yes], and the worst part is that you actually saw where they hid their shitload of crack so they can't risk anything but since the oyabun is actually this really nice guy he says "One kill, enough!" and so yeah, choose. Her or you.

Katana through your neck or hers?

A basic human instinct would be :
Oh yeah. Hey moron, when that day comes, the day a crazy Japanese mob decides to go on this insane murder rampage by presenting people with life ultimatums, we'll see about that.

And now, I present you, the answer of a pragmatic, rational, logic-based person who actually thinks before answering.
No. When the day comes, I'm just gonna say screw it, I'm not losing my life over that bitch. Besides, she's actually drugged. So it doesn't matter.

Now I'm not saying that it's a good thing, but in the end, admit it, we're all gonna do that anyway. No use denying it.
And goddammit, I should stop reading stuff about Apocalypse. Look how morbid it's turned me.

Okay, so I was blog-trawling Juju's link list just now and I read someone's blog about the ballet concert and I have only one thing to say. Lol, dude. And fine, this is a bit shameless to say it on my blog but what the hell, he probably doesn't read my blog anyway. But still, dude, lol. Nice thought on the ballet concert.Blunt, Amen.


Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 3:47 PM

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Saturday, June 20, 2009

Caffeine withdrawal programme?
Oh Ezz, hell no.

Ballet concert was okay, at least I didn't sleep. PA system was deafening at one point. And Clare was Tweeting throughout it. It was freezing cold. Wasn't like that before pssh. CFC people, CFC.

"I need to breathe oxygen, not CFC."

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 5:30 PM

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Monday, June 15, 2009

Stir-crazy, break easy.

Nuff'said. Au revoir, mon cheri.
Screw it. Blog posts are meant to be long, especially if I'm typing them. Provided I can remember everything from the holidays.
Week 1 - Boring. Whoring boring. Bought Sims 3. Shall write a review later.
Week 2 - Went out with Shannon and Sonia, that's it. Ate, a lot.
Flash Forward
Okay, so I woke up on Saturday, and my sister got this alarming phone call.

"Ehh, we might go to Penang"
"What, really? Why? Someone died?"
"Yeah. Granduncle's mother in law, the sickly one"
"Oh. I was being sarcastic O_o."

Daddy gave us a choice, Penang or Ipoh, our pick. I'm sure as hell that by now, you guys know I'm this crazy advocate for the authenticity of Penang char kuey teow, right? So naturally, thinking that a.We're not gonna be spending 12 hours at a funeral house, not after what's been happening lately, b.Dinner is definitely gonna be big and c.Shopping spree at Borders, d'oi, it was one big HELL YEAH from me. Damn, was I wrong or what? Bummer one, We DID spend more than 12 hours at the funeral house, bummer 2, Dinner was fast, no sense of enjoyment at all and bummer 3, WHAT SHOPPING SPREE?
But I guess it wasn't all that bad, apart for my incessant craving for a McFlurry, I'd say I learned a few stuff. How Hindu funerals are done and all those rites and rituals, they're very complicated. They each have this specific, symbolic meaning behind each procedure. It was definitely anything but fun, Mum was at one corner crying and well, the house was horribly despondent, but still, MEH. Been there, done that, cried long, don't fudgecaking care anymore. Besides, she had Parkinsons and was diabetic and it didn't help that she was having cancer or something, so yeah, I'm somewhat happy for her. This world is not worth living for with all that suffering..

Left at 4, came back at 8 since Uncle George's car's radiator overheated[?] and went 'myeekkk' on the highway, so we went and helped out. Amen, for DiGi and cellphones. Did my NiE, so no sleep. Not that it matters since I'm used to the whole sleepless nights concept. But damn, I could really use an anti-stress pill right now. &&&, I had crap out a stupid 1000-worded essay on 'cliques' for the fricking magazine, so yes, red eyes, CHECK, eyebags the size of a beaver in Russia, CHECK [And trust me, those beavers are huge], Jaded-looking face, CHECK and the girl is dead. It doesn't help either that I'm suffering through a caffeine-withdrawal programme here, since, well yeah. Too much coffee is not good, blah.
I think I pretty much lied throughout the whole essay because a. No one hangs out in a similar group with people who have a penchant for black eyeliners and misanthropy, b.HAVE YOU LOOKED AT OUR RECESS TABLE ON FRIDAYS? and c. I was tired and I lied to get the job done. Amen.

It really did open my eyes a bit though, regardless of the plentiful bitching, we're still pretty inclusive if you look at it closely. There're the Kpop people, and there's the video game geeks, there's the Lambert/Hardcore punk loving person, the very nice, misunderstood, emo person, there's the drama queens and all that lah. Ah, we're the epitome of 1Malaysia :D

So, anyone going for the ballet concert? I think I might go since coughcoughIcoughsupportmyschoolcoughcough. I think I might go the same day as Jill although she's going with someone else, and yeah, to answer your question : GO, since you have free tickets and I need the vague company.
Or maybe I'll grab Sonia in exchange for her mum's beloved prom thing. I'm lazy like hell although I don't mind wearing a dress for her church prom but still, LAZY as hell. Though if there's a generous amount of alcohol and good food, I'll succumb. She's gonna kill me if she sees this, since I promised her I would go with a loud "I'LL GO FOR YOU FIANCEE DEAREST!" and since Anna needs a date, but still alcohol and good food = substantial bribe.
O_o. Let's just hope no one finds out that Anna's a girl during the thing since I'm trying to maintain my essential asexual status in church, I am not gay. Nor am I straight. I was just forced to attend. Line delivered. Amen, baby.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to drown myself in sleep and ice-cold milk.

Caffeinewithdrawal.14 more days, 14 more bloody days.

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 3:51 PM

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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Labour Day ain't gonna be the same again.

And because uh.. this blog is for my grief? there are actually people throwing "get over it la" and "stop writing depressing stuff" at me, I'll resort to TADA, the blog you never knew about. :D

And! It's over. 40 days, it's over. I think I cried more just now than I ever did during the funeral. I changed my shirt twice, AND I had a bad cold. So go figure. Oh well, hell off if you can't stand what I write. You don't have my password account although I've literally screamed the damn thing out loud in the canteen once. *shrugs* I amuse myself

"I shall break my fast with breakfast. Now, shut up and let me eat my tosai in peace."

That's the line I was so proud of to say today. I broke it, and celebrated with 3 pieces of chicken. I'mma be building up the fat in all places before the holidays end.


Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 1:00 AM

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Monday, June 8, 2009

Kill, switch, engage.

You know, I always thought I'd be designing my brother's wedding booklet.

And here I am today, designing his 40th day memorial prayer booklet.

Vast difference, isn't it?

I'm sick of crying, pretending, lying and falling.
Who'd ever thought I'd lose my brother when I'm 16?
Call me sap-bucket, but this really sucks hell.
I miss my brother.
Cliche, I know.

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 12:13 AM

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Saturday, June 6, 2009

My name's in the obituary
Ahh, should I be flattered, or is this too morbid for a first timer?
And yeah la yeah la, I'm a famewhore.



Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 1:12 PM

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Thursday, June 4, 2009


I'm a huge sucker for movies that have cute dogs [Labradors, preferably] that die in the end.
And thus, I give you the movie that just made me cry not more than 5 minutes ago.

SOCKS-CHAN, why aren't you immortal?
Darn, I love crying during movies

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 10:54 PM

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Tuesday, June 2, 2009

BUT I WANNA TAKE EST...Or English Literature.
And I don't mind dropping Econs.
But the core subjects are being reduced to four.
But I still don't mind dropping Economics
And being stuffed in the overcrowded Science 4.
Nope, I don' mind at all.
But still....

So objective.

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 12:27 AM

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