[Not So] Caféine-intoxiqué..

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

"You live under the delusion that you can fix everything that isn't perfect. That’s why you married a man who was dying of cancer. You don't love, you need. And now that your husband is dead, you're looking for your new charity case. That's why you're going out with me. I'm twice your age, I'm not great looking, I'm not charming, I'm not even nice. What I am is what you need. I'm damaged."

House's script seriously makes you think a lot sometimes.

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 11:42 PM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Sweet desertion

Raising hell with: Julian Casablancas - Out Of The Blue

I think it's impossible to stay happy without dealing with a blow in the end. Life isn't like that, it never is and never will be. Life doesn't go about based on your terms, because someone [Idkwho] plans it, carries it out, screws it, makes a point out of it, gives you ice-cream-tasting happiness, grabs that away and watches you rot hell.

Be happy on Thursday, Friday turns it upside down, Saturday you're depressed, Sunday you're numb, Monday you're accepting, Tuesday is back to normal. It's revolving cycle, with invisible-like qualities. You can't stop it as it spins from one end to the other because it's just too fast to handle, it's a Porsche, you're a bicycle. Like that.



Did basically nothing. Went to the cemetery since Mum loves to make herself depressed all the time Call me insensitive, but I hardly think post-mortem is the time to start praising someone you never really praised about before. At least Shannon came over and hung for a bit. This, I find unbelievably awesome cos' BWAHAHAHAHAHA 2 BUDDIES SO FAR TO HAVE VISITED MY PLACE :D
Played Batman Lego for a while and then she went back. My dogs love her, especially Whimper Jay and Jack xD Went to Penang at about 6-ish.
WE, COMPLETELY UNPLANNED, stayed at The Cove. NOT. HARD ROCK. CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW PISSED I AM. But I still walked to it from the beach though :D

Remembering those people who were lost and people who have lost in the tsunami. God bless you guys, you really did go through a lot :(

While Daddy was at his conference thingy, we went shopping, naturally. Bought some stuff since Topshop was having a good sale. CHRISTMAS PRESENTS are done. I know it's late pssshh.
Met up with Aunt Rachel, Daniel [WHY DOES HE GROW TALLER ALL THE TIME] and PrettyBoylooking good in red dies :D I was very, very happy. You have no idea how much. We talked about our mutual love for Star Wars and Darth Vader and Unreality while waiting for the other people [They shop more than me :\] . No shiet. He reads Unreality. And I always thought there could only be someone who's fanatically-weird as me. :O Shocker.

BLAH. Spent most of my day afterward with Mum&Sis, AR, D and PB. PrettyBoy makes me exceedingly happy.

Beach. As much as I like the beach, I CANNOT STAND THE SUN. Babysat Joshua, he liked the water a lot :D Cute kid. Kept on high5-ing tourists whenever they passed. OH AND THERE WERE REALLY HOT SHIRTLESS GUYS FROLICKING AROUND THEY WERE HOT. But not AS hot as Iknowwho. So meh at them. I SMILED, at every person I passed, tourist or local since Malaysians are apparently very hospitable [O_o]. I decided to live up to that fact. I swear the insides of my cheek are nearly hemorrhaging but they smiled back so YAYS! I am now a cordial person :)
I plan to be nicer next year. For real. I SHALL SMILE.

The horse hated me though >:\

Leave. Near cry. Hugs. Un-family. I will miss all of them, but not as much as PrettyBoy :( He deleted his Facebook account, that bastard. Guys like that don't come very often, that's sad. He's not even Malaysian guddammit. It's not fair. Why finish? I hate endings.

I feel so fucked up right now.

If infinity was that long.

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 10:24 PM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________

Friday, December 25, 2009

i find it strange that Michael Jackson's superfans started popping up one by one when...he died.


Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 8:31 AM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________

Thursday, December 24, 2009


Raising hell with: Bright Eyes - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas

This is probably the most depressing rendition of Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas. I still think Sinatra's was the best. Still, heaven knows if I'll be blogging tomorrow or PSP-shopping <--- I'm hoping, praying.

-_- This is probably the worst thing I've ever Photoshoped.

Greetings from me and my Photoshop-challenged self.

Have a great Christmas everyone. Bless ye~

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 2:28 PM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

[points below]


Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 10:10 AM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________

11th Dimension

Raising hell with: Friendly Fires - Strobe

I stayed up the whole night :D Granted, it may not be the best achievement ever when put on a podium next to Phelps' 8 medals or something, but for this constantly sleep-deprived chick over here, it's a Da Vinci masterpiece :D

Sorry for the metaphors or euphemism or whatever you called those [there's a simpler word, I just can't remember], I'm psuedo-disgruntled and mostly muddled but 101% sane.

Lemme recap what I did the whole night.

Watched Leverage. TWICE

Easily one of the best shows to come out this year. PARRKERRRR :D

Played Kingdom HeartsThis game, will FOREVER bring me nothing but good memories. It was one hell of an RPG, one hell of a video game.

Killed a lizard. With Spray

Watched Cash and Burn
It was sad


Screamed at Jack, Pogo, Roofie, Whimpers
[For making and awful lotta noise at 3 am. Gosh, dogs]

"Till you're pissing on my coffin". - Blessme :D

Humbug, I can't remember. Meh.


Now, go back. Before I perform grand theft auto. Grand theft human. Whatever

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 8:08 AM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________

Sunday, December 20, 2009


Raising hell with: Julian Casablancas - 11th Dimension

Went to video game haven, I wanted to cry everytime I saw a PSP.

You're supposed to be thankful during Christimas, yes? Then I'm gonna make a list paper, scan it and slap it down here. Because I can't just turn on the computer everyting I have this sudden burst of thought.

Oh and Shannon I can't believe you still read my blog :D Can't believe anyone reads it actually. Aren't you sick of my blabbering already?

I'm off to Penang on the 26th apparently since we're all lazy on Christmas day itself. Dad has a conference so mum and sis and I are gonna be shopping. Will be back on the 27th I guess, cos' dad has to work on the 28th -___-

But at least I'm gonna be here for Mass at OMPH. Sonia texted me to go XD And now I'm on a mission to get Shannon to go.

Yesterday was kinda..strange though. My grandaunt tried really hard to convert me into a Jehovah's Witness. She was preaching one-to-one to me, telling me how rigged my Catholic beliefs are and how God wouldn't approve of most things that we do and how we're supposed to be devoted in doing God's will. She also told me that people are the main cause of their own death by not adhering to what God said [Yes, she was indirectly refering to my brother. Gee, thanks. It brings me so much joy to know that my brother was really bored and just decided to go against God and consequently, he died.]

So I just nodded at all the right places and just listened to her rambling away.

I don't see the point of preaching to me since my anti-organizations belief kinda rubbed into my religion. I don't like identifying with my denomination, but more of just Christian as a whole. It's enough that we're broken up into our respective religions, so why break it down even more?

I guess it's true when she says that the Bible didn't say anything on celebrating birthdays and Christmas trees, but then again that's a lifestyle thing. It isn't religion-oriented. It's like saying just because the Bible didn't mention anything about wearing hats, we shouldn't wear hats. Hell no.. Christmas trees have something do with Pagan worship, I know. But it's not like we're praying to our trees right? OH MY GOD, TREE! You gotta roll with the times.

I do have a lotta faith in God and my religion is really important to me, but I'm not gonna base my whole life on it. I'm not gonna let it interfere with my choices in life either.


Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 11:01 PM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________

Saturday, December 19, 2009

my sister bought my nice shoes :D Ok la, they're not so nice but I love them to bits since I'unno, my last pair Converse became doggie chow.

"So how much was it?
"Eh? After discount or whut?"
"How much off?"
"70% la."
"70.. It's 129 after 70%"
*scribbles math all over paper.*
"it was 430."
"Yeah so?"

She bought me the Century Project ones :D

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 1:49 PM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________

Friday, December 18, 2009

Back burner

Raising hell with: Friendly Fires - Jump In The Pool

Sister is in Penang, poking around USM for 2 days and she's gonna be back today.

"My luck is so stupid, I tell you.. PSP got stolen."
"Mmhmm. And?"
"...nothing else lah. *flips through newpaper* Shit. LOOK AT HIS *stabs paper* Converse is having A FRICKING SALE UP t 70%. Oh and guess where it is? QUEENSBAY MALL. Dammit la."
"Near USM la. I'll buy one for you."
"Yeah. You look kinda pathetic without your PSP anyway."

[Clazziquai's Tell Yourself plays]
"*grunts* Hullow?"
"Ehh. That shoe you wanted. What is it?"
"I knowww. But what type do you want?"
"I want the sleeping type. Ask the dude for Chuck Taylors."
"The school shoes one ah? Wait. [At the salesguy] Do you have Chuck Taylors?"
"Chuck Taylors huh? What's that? Lee Cooper ah?"
"O_O wtf how can someone work in a Converse shop without knowing what the hell are Chuck Taylors."
"Buy one that's nice. Please and thank you. I wanna go sleep."
":D ZZZ"

Moral of the story. Kampung Ipoh people are better off working at Converse shops. AT LEAST I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN JACK AND CHUCK :D And I think I'd actually like this job.
Schizo uncle. I'm gonna go schizo thanks to cognition one day. Sod it. People do things. And everything has a reason. That was grammatically incorrect but who cares. Christmas is in week! I AM ECSTATIC. ARE YOU?

Time, Truth and Hearts.
They're right. I got soul but I'm not a soldier has the logic-equivalence as saying "I got ham but I'm not a hamster" Granted, it doesn't make much sense when you think about what it means but still, wouldn't it be monumentally awesome if you could scream it out along with a 100 other people on an open field. It sounds powerful and well, logic.. It's either 100 other people went on happy pills with you or it has to make sense right? If 100 people are screaming, IT DOES have to make sense.

Forgive me. I'm on a very indie diet. Surviving on PTA's list can do things to your brain. Sides, my Ps2 bailed on me so meh.

That said, I should probably wash my school shoes now O_____o

He's so beautiful is it even possible to be that beautiful gosh i'm overthinking and this is hazardous my sanity is at stake here but guddammit he's just so beautiful no it's not hot not even good looking he just happens to unconventionally beautiful like daniel craig or something but he's not blond eh he's not even indian [yay] that was racist but oh my god i think i just saw the most beautiful boy in planet so far someone needs to kill me before i do something utterly stupid like abduct him and put him in a steel cage hanging by a thread at the goddamn eiffel and yes it doesn't help that he's not 5000000 miles away no he's with my aunt he's with my cousin he's not from here he's gonna be here for a bit but when he leaves can i keep him no i can't oh screw it all he's grown so much so so much. This Is Not Good.

Temporary insanity. Separation anxiety. I need happy pills.

"Something tells me that at some point of my life, I'm going to do drugs. Maybe not the hard ones but the ones good enough to have you write a sad britpop song naked in winter clad in superman's cape. Yeah. And you'd be writing it with Wolverine's claws"

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 2:51 PM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________

Tuesday, December 15, 2009


in one year, one can lose a brother, a grandfather, love, a friend, something precious, and basically, a life.
the odd part of it is that, that person can still be alive in spite of losing half their life. Are they lucky?
No, they're just here so that other people can stare at them and say "Oh hey, at least my life doesn't suck as much as theirs"

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 11:03 PM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________

Saturday, December 12, 2009

I hate how flu medicine makes me high. Case in point : I give you the post before this.

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 11:23 PM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________


Raising hell with: Oasis - Stand By Me

:D No matter how effed up your year has been, leave it Christmas to TURN THAT GUDDAMN MEGAWATT SMILE ON :D

I'unno la. It's just that I get so :DDDDD-ish at the thought of Christmas. Fine, I'm not celebrating this year but I can still make myself happy right? AND THUS YES I FUDGECAKING WILL. ALL OF YOU, BE VERY VERY VERY HAPPY OR I WILL PERSONALLY SMOTHER YOU WITH A HAPPY-INDUCING PILLOW WHEN YOU SLEEP :D


Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 8:07 PM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________

Wednesday, December 9, 2009


Raising hell with: Oasis - The Shock of the Lightning

It's so sad knowing Noel isn't in Oasis anymore. :(
Yeah, it's a statement, full of T_T-ness. What's Oasis without Noel Gallagher? Dammit. I shall drown my sorrow in depressing Britpop songs.

Sister and I got really bored, and hungry but mostly just bored just now. Prompted by our hunger [For real. We get hungry alot when it's that time of the month ;D], we walked. A long walk, that is. To that new KFC near our house. We could've just cycled there but walking seemed better. WITH AN UMBRELLA :D The KFC looked kinda nice actually, it looked like Starbucks. WTF right? I definitely did not see this coming. And we sat. And ate. and She went to cut her hair while I walked around aimlessly. There was a PUSAT MEMANCING UDANG TOO. HOW OUTRAGEOUSLY AWESOME IS THAT? PUSAT MEMANCING UDANG. A PRAWN FISHING CENTRE :DDDD

Yeah, I was THAT bored.

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 4:43 PM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________

Monday, December 7, 2009


Raising hell with: Sam Sparro - 21st Century Life

December resolutions. Because making resolutions at the end of the year seems somewhat more attainable than making them at the beginning. I swear to God I said the complete opposite in January. Or perhaps I just have some kind of bipolar-initiative-disorder. Geddit? No. Ah.

But yeah, December resolutions. MAKE A HAPPY PLAYLIST!!!!1111oneoneone!!!one11one

Fudgecake. All I have now is Hall And Oates' You Make Me Dreams.

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 10:48 PM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________

Veli fed up with blogging oledi.

And I kenot believe it's december. so fast ah.

ah, screw this.

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 2:06 PM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?! ________________________________________________________________________________

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


You may be a sinner but your innocence is mine.

Gosh, I'm in love with that line. Muse's Undisclosed Desires, peeps.

:D I've made up mind, I'm not going for that prom, it seems so cliche all of a sudden.SORRY SONIA M'DEAR. I hardly think I'm gonna be around during the 11th anyway, probably in Penang or somewhere with good food and aesthetically-endowed young men. Sides, my initial date and I dumped each other without any of us realizing it, she has a new chick ;P OHH ANDDDDDD, I'm not in the mood for any social events at the moment since this year sucks black holes and I'm not ready, okay? Let May 1st of next year pass and then I'll consider going for anything.

Tbh, I feel really disengaged right now. I don't know if it's the whole 7th month feeling hitting or Godknowswhat but that's just it, I feel deadened. It's not the atmosphere, it's not the people, believe me. I'M making myself like this. I never liked mind-killing someone with my problems, let alone write it on my blog for the whole to read. I mean sure, there's the occasional rambling about school and whatnot but no, I've never said anything about a really deep problem. I guess I'm cagey like that, reserved with absolutely no intent on spilling anything. It makes me somewhat independent, I suppose. I'm not in a LOT OF THINGS, but I think when it comes to dealing with my life problems [most of the time :|], I'm good on myself.

But not now.

I think my reserved self is caving in on well, myself. It's making me different. Quiet maybe? Self doesn't feel like talking to anyone, it's not an egomaniacal thing going on. Like I said, I'm just detached.

MAYBE it's for the better. Or a phase. Perhaps staying dead-quiet is a good thing, for everyone. Idek if it's Ezz-ish to be quiet, but yeah, maybe that's gonna change.

NO m'dear, no Zoo Negara.

Ezzrriiieeeeee worded out at 12:29 AM

0 page[s] turned..Fudgecake?!